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mwl
Mad Welshie Admin
Joined: 18 Feb 2008
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Location: In the Tardis
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 Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:25 pm Post subject: Men Jokes |
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1. Men are like .......Laxatives ..... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like .....Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like .Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like .Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like .Chocolate Bars . Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like .Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like .Department Stores . Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like ......Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like ....Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like ..Popcorn .... ?They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like ....! ... Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.
12. Men are like .Parking Spots ....... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
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woodysdad
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Joined: 06 Mar 2008
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Location: Nr Edinburgh, Scotland
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| Posted: Mon Apr 07, 2008 6:54 pm Post subject: |
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Hrrmph!! 
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unicorn1
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| Posted: Tue Apr 08, 2008 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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Wee John
The Copper Piper Moderator
Joined: 10 Apr 2008
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Location: Near Rochester NY USA
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| Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:57 am Post subject: |
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Understanding Men
"IT'S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"
"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."
"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "That girl standing on the corner is a real babe."
"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"
"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed,
and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot our anniversary."
"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."
"OH, DON'T FUSS - I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"
"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough
so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."
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mwl
Mad Welshie Admin
Joined: 18 Feb 2008
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Location: In the Tardis
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| Posted: Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:59 am Post subject: |
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Wee John
The Copper Piper Moderator
Joined: 10 Apr 2008
Posts: 450
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Location: Near Rochester NY USA
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:09 pm Post subject: |
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When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him
the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed.
"Good heavens," he said, "what is this?"
"Why, it's bean soup," she replied.
"I don't care what it has been," he sputtered.
"What is it now?"
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bobaroo
Pain in the Pos.........er!
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 766
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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Wee John
The Copper Piper Moderator
Joined: 10 Apr 2008
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| Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 3:05 am Post subject: |
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A guy is out with buddies and has a few drinks and is
feeling the urge but true to his wife, goes home.
He finds her sound asleep in bed with her mouth wide open,
so he gets two aspirin and drops them in her mouth.
She starts to choke, but recovers and asks,
"What the hell did you put in my mouth?"
He says, "Two aspirin."
She replies, "BUT I DON'T HAVE A HEADACHE!"
He says, "That's all I wanted to hear."
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Yir nivir to auld tae learn! Wee John. |
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bobaroo
Pain in the Pos.........er!
Joined: 06 Mar 2008
Posts: 766
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| Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 9:03 am Post subject: |
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mwl
Mad Welshie Admin
Joined: 18 Feb 2008
Posts: 1284
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Location: In the Tardis
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| Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 10:23 am Post subject: |
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Only one laugh icon BoB - you feeling unwell when it come to woman jokes you usually laugh alot. Losing your touch a bit
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